Happy Birthday to my darling sister!
RACHEL KHOO ZI JIA!
You're now officially 18 and it's finally legal for you to go clubbing and drink! *which means no more fake ID's* keke. Hope you're birthday wishes will come true and don't worry, the right guy might just be around the corner. You just gotta be open to every possibility, which I know you are. ^^
My computer was struck by lightning last week, I think, and so something was fried or damaged, I don't remember what, thing is, I can't go into the Internet. But I can still occasionally use my dad's laptop but it also means I can only have access to twitter and my blog. My dad's computer is very slow so I am way too impatient to wait for it to load my emails or facebook and also means I can't upload any photos in my blog until we get the computer fixed. In other words, I'm practically out of touch with everyone else besides texting which I am too afraid to use too much now as I made a lot of calls these past few days and dad just showed me my latest bill which is RM139.60 WTF.
To make things worse, I have about 2 to 3 parties to plan and organise which also means calling and texting alot of people which I can't do too and I have to go out and check party venues which I can't do either because my mom, who has impeccable timing decides to not let me go anywhere. Having a mom who out of the blue gets paranoid and has a phobia of everything is so not good, actually it's not our of the blue, it just got stronger and more terrifying I guess. Urgh!
I am seriously so frustrated right now I think I might even start physically hurting myself. Though I'm trying not to because I don't wanna become so insane to the point where I'll actually attempt suicide. No no, I'm not that mental, just really need a good way to blow off some steam and alot of other things that's going on in my head that I don't even wanna think too much about. Because frankly, I've cried this afternoon not even for a really long time but just really cried until I can still feel my eyes hurting as if they were swollen and trying to hold back tears so that my family members won't see.
I just want to get everything settled and over with so that I can enjoy my trip back to my hometown and my cousins back in Langkawi. I wanna have some much needed crazy fun. I need a break from everything. Things that are happening or not happening are too much for me to handle and I think like I'm a volcano that is about to erupt anytime and or has already erupted but seems like it's gonna again. I dunno what I'm crapping about is just that typing seriously freaking hard on my dad's laptop feels good. This is how messed up I am. I know right?
You guys, I am so so so so so so so so deeply sorry that I can't go out. I missed you guys and I really wanna go to the movies and do some damage to my purse but I can't. I'm practically grounded without mom saying so because she's paranoid. Locked up here at home, bored. Bored. BORED! And might I add, my house is now stocked with junk food and chocolate and I'm scared that I won't have the will to say no anymore and I'm am so fudging lazy that I can't bring myself to do some exercising. I want to, only the fact when I really get into it is when I'm about to sleep. Fudge it. I am this close to saying the actually word but for the sake of my blog, I won't. I don't wanna demoralise it any more than I already had. Pfffffffffft.
Anyway, watched You've Got Mail on HBO today, it was a very nice show. Moving in some ways too. I watched the last episode of Sonria Pasta 2 nights ago before I slept and remembered the things I wanted and dreamt of. Don't ever forget what you wanted, and don't settle for anything less. Ever.
